Soviet satirists Ilf and Petrov would be in seventh heaven with politicians saying things like this… An article in the Vechernii Bishkek reporting on the linguistic elegance demonstrated by certain politicians had me smiling wryly a couple of days ago and my inner philologist giggling wildly. Despite the fact that inevitably something is lost in translation and puns are nigh-on untranslatable a lot of the time, I thought I’d give an English version a go to give people a flavour. Russian speakers, head over to ???? ???, ??? ??? for the original article.

Our NGOs are like UFOs

Parliamentary deputies never cease to amaze the public with their linguistic pearls. Several recent comments would rightly impress even world-class writers.

Passions have been running high in the Zhogorku Kenesh for the last week. In the heat of the moment, there have been the sort of emotional outbursts that the ever-sage public will, possibly, find rich material for anecdotes. For example, Vice Speaker Bolotbek Sherniyazov described the activities of Kambaral Kongantiev’s department thus: “You’re not the General Prosecutor, you’re the General Advocate!”, referring to a perception that he protects defendents…

The next pearl was provided by deputy Temirbek Sariev, describing conditions in the country. “Both golden minds and golden hands have already left us. We’re left with only gold teeth”, he said, neatly repeating Islam Karimov’s well-known aphorism.

Omurbek Babanov, rebuking the Head of the State Security Service, announced “You’re not the State Security Service, you’re the State Insecurity Service!” This comment was clearly not to the Chekist department leader’s liking.

Meanwhile Ombudsman Tursunbai Bakir Uluu recently took non-governmental organisations to task. In his opinion, apparently, they have become overly politicised and often do not fulfil their basic functions. “Our NGOs, like UFOs, want to be permanently at the centre of attention and cause a commotion around themselves”, said the human rights defender [a bitterly ironic description in itself, some would argue].

Passions in the Republic are seething like a boiling kettle, with more feverish phrases slipping out even before one sees any steam. They’re becoming increasingly cutting with every day. And that means that the public will have plenty of food for thought. Live a little longer and write it down!

Article by Andrei Oreshkin, translation CXW